Sunday, May 29, 2011

Loren: To remember

Tonight. Just as Len (aka the boymanfriend) is about to go to sleep in my bed, I ask him.

"Honey, do you want me to get into bed and cuddle you to sleep?"

He looks at me with slumberous eyes and shakes his head a little. "No, its ok. Continue playing your game." (I was killing zombies in L4d, if you must know)

I bit my lip. Glanced at the computer screen, 'Still alive? Okay.' and at him. "Its just a game. I can stop."

He smiles at me, rather sweetly, although he'd never believe his face capable of displaying such an emotion.

"Thats ok. Its good enough that I'll get to wake up next to you tomorrow."

With that, I continued blasting the heads off zombies, but with a warm tingle around my heart. Every now and then, I am reminded of how good we have it, while we still have it.

Monday, May 23, 2011

Loren: Ask

How strange is it, to feel like you're in a fight with someone but not knowing what is it that you have done that was so wrong that the other person couldnt even be bothered to resolve it with you? That the person just gave up? That the person just stopped caring about you?

And then I wonder. How long will it take for me to stop wondering, when this small ache in my heart will go away, and when will I reach the same stage of "whatever-ness" that you are at.

When did it change that the one who cares becomes the bad guy?
Why is it that asking not to be forgotten, makes you selfish?
How is it that we became this way?
Does trying to fight against this make me a fool?

Above all, am I the only one asking all these questions?